Healthy Parents for Thriving Families
We all want to thrive as parents.
We want to be Supermom (or dad), and then there’s the part of us that also wants to excel in our careers, participate in things that challenge us, further our education, have a social life, travel, get in shape, eat healthy, and most importantly raise happy and healthy kids. And you can do it all, just not all at once, and not when you’re coming from a place of deprivation and overwhelm. If you feel like you’re definitely not thriving, and it feels more like surviving, keep reading.
When it comes to thriving in parenthood and life, there are so many resources out there for time management, virtual assistants and all sorts of other things you can purchase to make your life easier, and many of them work. The thing I’ve found (and many client success stories to back it up) to be the MOST impactful and FREE, is to focus on YOU first. Focus on your own personal health and wellbeing. Here me out, because I know your kids are the most important thing in the world to you.
Having good health is the foundation to everything else functioning well in life. Health is also different for everyone, what’s healthy for one person might not be healthy for you. Hopefully that takes some pressure off what it “needs” to look like. There’s physical health, and there’s mental health, and they often overlap.
When you’re taking care of your health by getting more sleep, better nutrition, exercising and reducing stress, you’ll catapult your results in other areas of your life. Focusing on your health leads to increased brain function and more mental clarity for easier decision making and critical thinking, more energy so you can happily do more and be more engaged without crashing, less stress so you can enjoy life without feeling burnt out all the time and improved digestive health and immune function, because who has time to be sick. Not to mention easier weight management and improved overall bodily function.
Simply put, when you feel better you do better…PERIOD!
And if you do these things, you’re reinforcing the behavior to your kids, that health should be a priority! And if you’ve ever seen a toddler say swear words, you know for a fact, they do what we DO, they model our behavior!
Simply knowing this information isn’t enough. Being a parent brings a plethora of barriers to reaching our ideal health. There are often time and financial constraints. There’s the habit of putting everyone and everything else first and the mom (or dad) guilt, about taking the time away from family. Some of us even do really well in certain areas of our health, but completely neglect other important areas. Another barrier we all face is getting started, there can be a lot of overwhelm or lack of motivation about how and where to start. The number 1 challenge most people have, especially parents have, is struggling to keep consistency.
Let’s talk about why that is. Getting started can be one of the hardest parts, so kudos to you if you’ve done this. Many of us get started with unrealistic time frames and expectations. If you’re a high achiever parent like many of my clients, as soon as you set your eyes on the prize, you want the result NOW. You’re super motivated, you go gung ho, and then life happens or you burn yourself out, and you fall off the wagon for a bit and then have to start all over with the hardest part of constantly beginning again. Sound familiar? Don’t worry you’re not alone.
There are 2 main keys to consistency:
Setting realistic expectations and starting small.
Building Habits that Stick.
I’m not here to tell you can’t accomplish the unimaginable, but think about what’s really important based on the impact it will have and start with something that genuinely feels doable! You can always build on top of it later. You can use tools like SMART goals and other resources. Make sure it feels impactful but manageable. If there are many areas of your health that you’re hoping to improve, it can be helpful to choose an area to focus on first.
Once you’ve set your goal/expectation start taking action in small steps. Smaller steps will feel more manageable in the beginning and be easier to stick to long term. And remember, you can and likely WILL build on it later.
Here’s an example of small steps. If your goal is to work out more, and you’re currently working out 0-1 times per week, don’t jump right to 5x/wk 60 mins each, maybe shoot for 2x/wk 20-30 mins each. Or if your goal is to get more sleep, and you currently have a habit of staying up until almost midnight, don’t try to force yourself to go to sleep by 9pm, maybe improve it by 30-45 min increments at a time, while simultaneously figuring out when else you can fulfill they needs that you’re squeezing in during those late hours.
Once you have a few small steps, try to schedule in time for them that is consistent. Doing things at the same day/time can help build habits. Once something is a habit, it requires less mental space and coordination. It just becomes something you do without having to really think about it. We all have habits, whether you realize it or not. We all have automated things we do, like before we leave the restroom, we wash our hands, you don’t have to remind yourself to do it, you just do, without even thinking about it. When we wake up in the morning, the first thing we do is use the bathroom (or check your phone). You do these without thinking, not because you’ve scheduled time to do so. Your health habits can become that easy too when you schedule them, so that they have the opportunity to become a habit.
Don’t wait to “find” time to do these things or they won’t happen, look through your calendar and figure out where you can fit it in, or what you can remove to MAKE the time for what’s really important to you.
Once you have an established habit it will be much easier to stick with the routine when life throws the inevitable curveballs at you, like a kid getting sick, or going on vacation or whatever it is that throws you off your routine temporarily. You’ll find that sometimes you can adjust and find ways to still modify and make it happen, and other times, you will have to skip it. Setting the expectation upfront that life is unpredictable will help eliminate some of the guilt or discouragement that can happen when you don’t follow through with what you said you were going to do.
If you still feel like you’re all over the place and could use some help, I have programs specifically designed to help high achiever moms (and parents) who are feeling a lot of pressure to prioritize their health, and I help them take control of their health and figure out ways to balance it all so they can feel like themselves again. I also host many free and low cost workshops virtually and locally in Madison, WI. For more information on my programs you can visit the coaching page on my website madisonbetterbody.com and you can connect with me on IG @kaitlinroho or via email kaitlin@madisonbetterbody.com.
Join us for a FREE virtual event with DreamBank on Thursday Aug 22nd at noon for a more in depth view of this topic.
